The Agonizing Feeling of Loving

I've been experiencing some love that hurts. I always forget we're called to love even when we don't feel like it. These past few days have been proof that I rarely practice love unless I feel like it. Have you ever felt that paralyzing moment where you Do Not Want to Love a Person but you're about to enter into a circumstance where there is no getting around it? It hurts. It just aches in a very unphysical way. Those moments where I am livid but I have to turn to the person and use a tone of kindness, an attitude of openness and it hurts. My blood almost feels hot. I now understand how heat is associated with anger. 

Well, wish me luck. Wish me courage, actually.